No turning back
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: The events of the Season 4 finale have a big impact on Lisbon, and she wants to end her life. Guess who simply can't live without her? Jisbon, Rated T just to be save, some spoilers for 4x24. Plain fluff, just saying.


**A/N: One-shot time, again! :D I wanted to write this, because I just don't want Lisbon to be sad, but I have the bad feeling she is gonna be depressed and sad in Season 5, mainly because of Jane. And I hate Lorelei, just saying, so no, Jane is totally NOT in love with her in this story! :D**

**And oh, this story is literally just plain fluff. PWP (Plot? What plot?) without smut, so to say :D.**

**Read and Review, please!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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Jane looked at his lap.

A folded paper was laying on his arms. Apparently, someone had passed him by and gave it to him without him noticing.

He shrugged. He sat up, and unfolded the piece of paper.

He started to read.

"_Dear Jane,_

_I'm going to do something, and I'm sorry if I hurt you by not telling you._

_But I'm sick of being the woman that everybody likes to hang out with, likes to be good friends with. But to fall in love with? No way._

_I know it's hard to fathom, but believe me. Ever since that little paper frog, I started to like you. More than like, I guess. I liked being around you, your presence made me happy and though you annoyed the crap out of me, I think I needed it. I admit, since you began working for me, I put on more make-up, and I spent more time on my clothes._

_But all the times when you told me to trust you, when you saved me (or when I saved your god-damn ass) I knew that that wasn't just about you being my colleague._

_I guess I've always known that I was in love with you. But I just didn't want to admit it, not to you, not even to myself. But I did, and I still do._

_I love you so much, missing you for these six months, only six months, it was an eternity for me. Every day, I missed you more and more, until I was ready to quit my job because it wasn't half as fun without you.  
And then you reappeared, in that church, and I felt I had lost again. I wanted to stay angry at you, wanted to slap some sense into you, but I knew I couldn't. I would do everything to let you stay, absolutely everything._

_I have always had complete trust in you, and you know that._

_So yes, I felt personally attacked when I had to hear from Lorelei that you were lovers. I accept the fact that you moved on, that you accepted a woman to seduce you and that you slept with her, don't get me wrong. But the fact that you didn't tell me, that you didn't trust me with that, yes, that hurts._

_Like I said, I have always had trust in you, completely, with my life I would protect you. But I feel that you don't trust me anymore. And that feels bad._

_I look back at our years with great pleasure, it had been a true pleasure to work with you, even if you never listened to me._

_You moving on is great, don't get me wrong, but I think that somewhere, deep down inside me, I always hoped that would be with me. But it wasn't._

_I know that you now know what I'm going to do, but please don't try to stop me. I feel like I've done everything I wanted in my life, and you helped me with so many things of that list._

_I'll miss you, and I love you._

_Goodbye Patrick,_

_Teresa Lisbon."_

A tear fell on the piece of paper.

And Jane immediately jumped up, and ran inside the elevator, pressing the button for the restaurant on the roof. The elevator took great time in closing the doors, then deciding to move upstairs, and then open the doors again. They weren't even opened that long, but Jane pushed himself through them.

When he arrived on the roof, darkness already hugging the building and the rest of the city, he saw Lisbon standing on the ledge. She had a horrified look on her face, but he could sense determination all around her.

"Lisbon!" Jane exclaimed.

She didn't look at him, though he sensed she knew that it was him. She always knew.  
"Go away, Jane! I need to do this!"

"No, Lisbon, you don't! There are people here that need you, really!"

She inhaled sharply, and he saw she swallowed.

"Please, Teresa..." Jane whispered, "I love you."

She burst into crying, and Jane grabbed her waist, pulling her off the ledge into his arms. He turned her around, and she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her tears wetted his expensive three-piece-suit, but he didn't care one bit.

He stroked her hair, making her sobs only louder and more irregular.

After a few minutes of crying, he felt that Lisbon's legs became like Jell-O, and he hugged her even more, keeping her upright.

He pulled away, and looked her in the eyes.

"Did you really think that what I did with Lorelei was an act of love? I used her, I knew I could get to Red John by sleeping with her. Yes, I feel bad about breaking my celibacy with her, but I couldn't stop thinking about you then. Don't think that in these six months, I didn't think one second about you. Because really, there didn't pass one second where I didn't think about you. I whispered your name in the darkness, you were what I thought about when I went to sleep and when I got up. Every day. For six months," he whispered, while the tears were still streaming down her face. He wiped them away, and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, Teresa, ever since that paper frog," he said, and a small smile appeared on her lips.

He then bowed down and kissed her, already feeling lost in the taste of her on his lips, ridding him of his breath. She returned the kiss happily, swinging her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

He cupped her cheeks, rubbing them with his thumbs.

And he swore to God, he couldn't stop kissing this woman, not even when he was on the edge of suffocation. This woman was his precious gift, everything he had now he got from her.

He would give her anything. Anything she asked for. She asked for the rainbow in her bathroom, period? He would give it. Nothing was impossible.

Because the number of times he'd almost lost her was numerous. Too much. And he knew what happened when he wasn't close to her, couldn't smell her delicious scent of cinnamon, the scent that was so typically her, always lingering in the bullpen. He knew that wasn't the only scent there, but it was the only scent he could smell. Because she'd always been the center of his attention, of his life. And this woman wouldn't ever escape him. He wouldn't let her.

He pulled away, heavily panting, and he saw tears stinging in her eyes again.

"Promise me that you're not going to hurt yourself ever again," he whispered against her lips. She nodded.

"I promise," she replied, and he kissed her nose.  
"Let's get inside," he whispered, and grabbed her hand.

He knew that engaging himself in a romantic relationship with Lisbon had consequences, and they were dangerous. But hadn't he always been a sucker with rules? And he would break every rule existing to be with Lisbon. Forever. And no serial killer, nor his dirty, conning and manipulating disciples, could change that.

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**A/N: And? AND! What do you think? Let me know in a REVIEW, thank you!**


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